I am always a work in progress... We never stop learning to master our craft.

Some of my favorite personal quotes..

"Everything I do, everything I am, all that I breathe is 18+ and will contain sexually suggestive material. ~ Gina Kincade 2011

"If you never have any expectations of other people then you will never be disappointed. When a positive experience occurs it is always a reason to rejoice." ~Gina Kincade, 2009

"I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow." ~Julia Cameron

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Collaborative Erotic Writing - The Intimate Relationships It Can Form...and Destroy.

How does the saying go, “A million monkeys…”?

Certainly the law of odds predicts a work of written art can be reproduced by enough monkeys pounding away, but any writer will attest it takes heart and soul to create.

We pour our thoughts, fantasies, fears, and excitement into our work, maybe more so with erotica than other genres as it touches such a personal chord in our soul.

As social networking via the internet becomes more common place there is a growing trend towards collaborative writing. Coming together in pairs or groups, writers work together on a single document.

This can take on many forms from a role play where each writer assumes a character, to a jointly developed story where each writes a small part and returns it to the other. Sometimes the plot is predetermined; sometimes it just happens as it is written.

A quick Google search will give plenty of background on collaborative writing, but one point not often discussed with respect to erotica is the bond formed between the writers.

I have been surprised by the depth of the emotional attachment when writing with a partner. Despite the lack of physical contact, marital status, prior agreements regarding expectations, or even knowing more than the name of the other writer, deep emotional connections are developed.

Possibly it is the sharing of intimate, personal thoughts often based on fantasies, or in trying to act as character that is pleasing, or in the excitement of interacting in naughty, sexual ways with another person. Likely it is a combination of the above and varies by individual.

Whatever the reason, this bond forms and over time it begins to look more and more like an actual couple. The term “Face Book Wife” or Face Book Husband” has been used often and aptly describes this type of relationship, even though these couples might be married to a real-life husband or wife who may or may not be aware of this activity.

Collaborative erotic writing is nearly as intimate as a real relationship. Jealousy, pain, joy, and sometimes true love can develop.

Writers need to be able to communicate about their feelings outside of the collaborative work, be sensitive to the others emotions, and have a sense of integrity about their actions, identical to any good committed relationship.

And if they do, the results can be a beautiful artistry, spinning erotic bliss for all to see.

~ Anonymous

Publishers additional note:

The above was submitted to me via a friend who at this time wishes to remain anonymous which I greatly respect. I however,wanted to add my two cents to the end of it because of so many situations that have been occurring around me lately.

When agreeing to write collaboratively with another author many forget that just like any other "contract" there should be guidelines and boundaries set in place to protect all involved and they MUST be adhered to. When they are not, mayhem can occur.

I have personally seen the negative effects of this. One or more of the collaborative partners gets far too heavily involved in this "new relationship or role play" and often it can lead to the destruction of marriages or other relationships.

Frequently people don't realize the effects of their "virtual life" and online relationships can have upon "real life".

Although I have personally been approached on many occasions to write my erotica with a partner, I will always respectfully decline for this very reason.

Collaborative writing, as my friend said above "can be a beautiful artistry, spinning erotic bliss for all to see." But it can also be the destruction of so many lives if not maintained in an appropriate fashion.

So please remember if you plan on sharing this type of intimacy with another author, collaboratively writing, set your guidelines and if you find you or they are crossing them, perhaps its time to consider the alternatives to continuing.

Is it wise to do so, or in the end will someone be getting hurt? Is a single written story worth the heart and feelings of another human being? Not in my opinion.

Again, just my two cents.

*kisses* Gina Kincade


  1. Very well said and a very important thing to remember. It is very easy to get caught up in the emotions of your character and imagery your "partner" portrays but again it is only another form of writing and as such should be treated the same.
    You wouldn't give up your real life with your family and friends to write your story, novel, book etc it wouldn't even enter your mind to not have that alone time with them and a break from writing. Yet for some reason collaborative writing can mean just that. I have also noticed that those who have normally written on their own, tend to forget their duty to their own work and let it lapse as they become so involved with their new online partner and the writing between them. Then there is also the problem of stating if you will both take credit etc etc.
    Okay that was my 2 drops of bloods worth to the discussion.
    *bites n kisses*

  2. Falling in love in role play relationship is a terrible situation , I would wonder on facebook ,after reading profiles why someone ,for instance in New York having a relationship with someone in CapeTown SOUTH AFRICA or in the UK, DON'T UNDERSTASND IT AT ALL ,YES Mistress boundaries and guide lines are important , as the phrase implies " IT'S ONLY A MOVIE !"


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